the summer i turned extrovert
a full recap: four months living solo, synchronicities, and links
A summary of the topics in this piece:
June: moving out solo, creative dares passion project
July: a surrealism birthday
August: dance dtla, impromptu book club ft. the alchemist, danny d’s mudshop free pottery class
September: camping at kern river, didi the movie
JUNE:
Moving Out Solo
I've always theorized that having my own place would significantly improve my mental health. But wow, I never anticipated just how spot-on my prediction would turn out to be.
After a year of living with my parents from 2022-23, while I deeply valued the time we spent together, I reached a breaking point and knew I couldn’t stay any longer. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to house-sit for my ex’s mom for just over a year (I might delve into the dynamics of that arrangement in a future post). It was exactly what I needed at the time; I transitioned smoothly into living with her two labs, who took care of me as much as I took care of them, and my love for animals grew in new and surprising ways.
When my ex’s mom returned to the house, I decided to extend my stay to save as much money as possible. However, my ability to continue in that living situation eventually reached its expiration date.
Moving out as early as I did was a significant leap for me, but after March of this year turned into a chaotic whirlwind and my internal stress started affecting me physically, I knew I had to make a change fast.
After four consecutive weeks of crying to my therapist earlier in March about being too afraid to make the change, he was finally able to help me break free from my cycle of expecting the worst by asking, ”What’s the best thing that could happen if you chose to do this?
So, I began to dream, imagine, and embrace the beauty of what could unfold within me, and just a few weeks later, it became a reality.
Is that not wild?
How the quality of a question could straight up transform our lives?
Of course, it’s taken years of deep work to even reach this point of openness, but I’m consistently amazed by how small shifts in energy can lead to such significant, impactful changes.
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a better place—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually—than I am right now. As someone who has identified as an introvert for nearly a decade, I barely recognized myself this summer. Not only did I find myself saying "yes" to numerous invitations, both personal and via social media flyers, but I also took initiative in organizing a significant number of one-on-one and group gatherings.
The amount of time I get to spend alone, without worrying about how my energy might affect others, has provided me with the space to continuously recharge and replenish my social battery. At my core, I still consider myself an introvert. I gain energy in solitude. However, I’ve discovered something special: when our environment supports our personal needs, it allows us to access and express parts of ourselves that we may have previously repressed for survival or self-preservation.
I’ve found great joy in reconnecting with my extroverted side. While I began strengthening my connections last year, this summer has infused them with new energy. And I’m excited about how living alone might further enhance my relationship to Self and everyone else.
Creative Dares
This summer, a major theme for me was PLAY. An old mentor of mine deeply ingrained the value of stepping out of our comfort zones. He taught me that being “shy” can actually be a disservice to others who could benefit from our unique gifts and showed me how approaching strangers and trying new things can have a wonderfully positive impact on our mental health. When we stick to routine, our creativity fades and our well-being suffers. So, I made it a goal not only to push myself beyond my comfort zone but also to gently encourage those around me to do the same.
Whenever I hung out with a group of friends, I’d say, “I’m working on an experimental project around creative dares. Wanna play?” Their reactions were always a mix of hesitation and intrigue that would eventually turn into a nod. I’d then pull out some paper, tear it into individual pieces, and ask everyone to come up with their own creative dares. Once we had a stack of dares, we’d randomly pick one and let the challenge begin.
The magic that has taken place from doing this even just a handful of times has sparked so many beautiful memories!
One dare prompted me to set a boundary I hadn’t even realized I needed to put in place. Another led my friend Nicole to gift dog food and a Burger King meal to a homeless man and his dog (and she captured the moment on camera!). Some dares brought two of my friends to tears as they expressed their deep affection for one another, while others sparked gut-wrenching laughter because of their sheer absurdity (mostly written by the men, of course lol)—just to name a few examples.
If you and your group of friends are looking to do something new this week, 10000/10 recommend playing, and of course, letting me know how it goes.
JULY:
A Surrealism Birthday
My friend Toan is one of the most creative and intentional party throwers I know. With so much going on in our day to day lives, it can be really difficult to figure out how to insert brainstorming a costume idea into our schedule, but to stay on the theme of play, it’s these moments of opportunity that remind me just how life-giving it can be to experiment with new worlds and realities.
Toan’s surrealism theme birthday was everything I needed in July, a month that felt like time was moving way too fast and work was piling up.
She orchestrated such an incredibly surreal night. Her birthday cake costume was a work of art, complemented by human fruit slots and a room adorned with items like jellyfish, butterflies, googly eyes, and bubbles. The evening was made even more special by everyone’s unique and creative costumes, each adding its own touch of magic.
AUGUST:
Dance DTLA
Synchronicity was a recurring word this summer.
I suggested to some friends that we go visit this book stand at the Music Center in DTLA and as we were walking out of the parking garage, a security officer approached us with such beautiful high vibrating energy and asked us if we were going to the dance event. We weren’t aware that we were in fact going to it, but it was about to take place right next to the bookstand, so we ended up staying because she hyped it up.
Surprisingly, it turned out to be one of the most joyful experiences of the year. To the point that I was so moved by what I was witnessing that I wanted to cry. And I know! I know! I cry at most things. But this type of wanting to cry is my favorite. The kind of cry that occurs when you get a reminder from the Universe that this life is a holy gift and that joy is a must.
We noticed that there was a schedule of dance classes that were about to take place and before it started we all thought: “I wonder how they’re going to get everyone to dance…”
We soon discovered that 95% of the attendees were there to DANCE. It was one of the most heartwarming sights I’d seen in ages—adults reconnecting with their inner children, dancing freely without any concern for how they looked. The crowd was a vibrant mix of ages and backgrounds, all coming together for hip-hop night. It was mind-blowing to realize this tradition had been thriving for 20 years. Two of my friends told their families about it, and they ended up at the next event, where they described it as one of the best experiences they’d ever had.
What a ripple effect!
I’m still at a loss for the perfect words, but the way this entire day unfolded felt as if something much greater than us was guiding it. Consider adding this to your list of ways to spark some intergenerational healing next summer.
Impromptu Book Club Ft. The Alchemist
“I just finished reading The Alchemist” a friend told me and two of my other friends, and my heart lit up because that book holds a uniquely special place in my heart.
One of our friends asked what it’s about, and the best way I could describe it was through one word: destiny. We all organically ended up reading/re-reading it and scheduled a book club meeting soon after to discuss.
When it was first brought up again, I flashed back to the first moment I ever heard about the book.
Almost a decade ago, a friend and I, after eating lunch in LA, were hanging out in the courtyard of the restaurant, playing with her DSLR. A stranger approached us and started making friendly conversation. He commented on the camera. Three minutes later we learned that he was The Weeknd’s photographer. He then recommended this book he said has changed his life, The Alchemist.
“What’s it about?” I asked.
“You just have to read it,” he said.
Simply because of his magnetic energy, I was sold.
I bought the book less than a week later, and sure enough, it changed my life.
Seven years later I synchronistically re-discovered that same stranger (!!!) on the Internet and he became my mentor.
If you’ve read The Alchemist, then you know all about synchronicities. Or more specifically, omens.
While I was re-reading it on the beach this summer, I thought of my mentor and how we hadn’t spoken in a while, so I decided to listen to his most recent podcast episode.
Tell me why, that specific podcast episode, at this exact moment in time, was about me and the work we had done together…
Seriously, read The Alchemist.
And then respond to this e-mail and ask me for the FREE reading guide I recently wrote and designed.
While the guide is offered at no cost, donations for any work that I do are always appreciated. Currently, 10% of all payments I receive are directed towards mutual aid for families in Gaza, in collaboration with Gaza Champions.
Danny D’s Mud Shop Free Pottery Class
Registering for this first-ever free workshop felt like racing to buy tickets for a one-time-only performance by a legendary artist, fully aware they would disappear within moments. And that’s exactly what happened, spots were filled in a matter of seconds.
I had invited my friend Mel to join me, and we were both ready at the computer by 10:00 A.M. as soon as registration opened. She quickly texted, “I got mine!” while I struggled with error messages on the site. Long story short, I wasn’t able to lock in my place. But Mel kindly offered me her ticket (or rather, she forced her ticket onto me lol), expressing, “I wouldn’t have even known about this if it weren’t for you.”
Ugh, I love my friends.
I wish we could’ve gone together, but it was refreshing to attend solo since I hadn’t done that in a while. I’d never tried carving before, and my skills in drawing and painting are still developing. But I absolutely enjoy experimenting with new mediums without the pressure to excel. It feels playful and helps me reconnect with my inner child.
SEPTEMBER:
Camping at Kern River
Took a 3+ hour solo drive up to the river and met up with a nostalgic group of friends. The downloads I received were so insanely beautiful that after sharing them to my IG story and experiencing all the loving feedback, I realized it needed it’s own Substack post. If you’d like to experience what I wrote via IG story format, along with actual content from the trip, it’s in the highlights section under “heart essays.”
Didi the Movie
Director Sean Wang has left a good chunk of the Asian population clutching their chests and weeping in theaters with his profoundly captivating, coming of age film, Didi. I was immediately inspired to watch it after reading on
’s IG story that this was a movie that captured the following:“the experience of being a child of immigrants, the desire to be seen as ‘less Asian,’ motherhood and the realization that mothers are their own person with their own dreams and aspirations, the journey of finding your own interests and creative outlets, friendship and so much more.”
I went with two close friends, one of whom was seeing it again for the second time. It was such a meaningful experience to watch something that hit so close to home for all of us. We all gushed over how well-written it was outside the theater, and it sparked some deeply moving conversations about our own experiences of being Asian.
Right after the movie, my friend who had already seen it sent us such a beautiful video created by the same film-maker and it reignited my love for great storytelling even more.
The title of the video is: “Why You Should Open Your Yearbook.”
Watch below!
I love the creative dare idea! It’s one of the reasons I like the “do it for the plot” saying, just to put random challenges to try something different for myself and my group
AHHHHHHH. The energy is contagious. The synchronicity is undeniable. The invitation is waiting!!!